This is the full listing, listed in reverse chronological order. Now, click them all. Go on. Do all men watch porn? Is it a sign of something wrong in a marriage if a husband does? What should a woman do about it if her husband watches porn? Why Men Watch Porn. I don’t remember the first time I was exposed to porn, but it must have been young because my little girl dream was to grow up and become a centerfold. To be honest, I was too young to truly understand the appeal for men. All I knew was I wanted to grow up one day and look like those women so I too could have the same powerfully mesmerizing effect on men that they obviously had on my father. © 2000-2016 Groundspeak Inc. All Rights Reserved. Groundspeak Terms of Use | Privacy Policy.Women and Self- Esteem. After leaving home–as a young, single, very sexually- active female in the 1. I rarely saw any porn. I was fortunate in that my first serious lover was French. Who needs bad 1. American porn, what with its well- hung pizza delivery guys and bad music soundtracks, when you have a real Frenchman in your bed? I don’t remember why my next lover and I started watching porn together. I’m guessing it was probably just curiosity. A, “What is it that Debbie’s doing to Dallas, anyway?” sort of thing. Of course we had to see her sequel, Debbie Does the Rest of Texas [sic], and that is where the trouble probably began. At first, porn was a fun occasional prelude, but then it became a frequent fixture. Since I considered porn something all men did, it didn’t bother me that he liked it. The truth is I enjoyed watching it, too. That is until the night I glanced up and caught my lover looking intently over my naked shoulder at the people having sex on our little TV. Every ounce of feeling I had for him shriveled up and died in that instant. I got dressed, and we never had sex again. I walked out of that relationship knowing porn would never be an integral part of my future sex life with anyone else. I wasn’t against porn, per se, but I wasn’t going to have my mother’s life either. I’d be no man’s cypher. I knew for certain my husband was a good ‘un when I saw him throw away a large box of porno videos dropped off on our front porch by a friend who was cleaning out his stash because he was getting married. I figured any man who could throw away that much porn without blinking an eye was a good bet. Is Porn Dangerous? Of course I know porn is dangerous. I saw the pain my mother felt in not living up to the fantasy women my father obsessed over. And I’d experienced the personal hurt a woman feels when it seems her lover is more interested in the woman on the screen than the woman in his arms. But–while I didn’t want porn to become a part of my sex life with a man–it never occurred to me that men wouldn’t watch some porn. I just didn’t want to be with a man who watched a lot of it, or wanted to watch it with me. What I mistakenly thought I had ended up with as a man who didn’t watch any porn, ever. So imagine my shock when I discovered a few years ago, after many years of blissful unawareness, that my husband occasionally watches porn.
How Can I Trust My Husband?My first reaction to the discovery of porn on my husband’s computer was a deep sense of betrayal. He says he lied because his porn watching has nothing to do with me, and he knew I’d feel unnecessarily hurt about it.We had quite a long, loud “discussion” about the meaning of the word “unnecessarily”.After the anger came my shame. Surely it must point to some inadequacy of mine that my husband felt the need to watch porn. Certainly there must be something seriously wrong with him that needed immediate fixing. And…What would other women think? So the first thing I did was make sure I didn’t tell any of my friends. Alone with my discovery–all of my insecurities rushing in–I felt isolated and ashamed. An Aging Crisis. I’m getting older. My skin isn’t as firm as it used to be. My breasts sort of sit and sag instead of perk and pout. Of course my husband is looking at porn! Of course he wants to see young thangs prancing, and sucking, and taking it everywhere with wild abandon. Can we talk about it? In writing this article today I felt many conflicting emotions. I know that there are many women out there worried about their husbands’ porn viewing. They wonder what it means. They are looking for help and support. But I feared writing about this because I don’t want people to judge me, my husband, or my marriage. Then I wondered how I can possibly help other women when I, myself, feel such shame and fear. If we can, I’d like to have a discussion about men, women, and porn. What are your experiences with porn? Do you think it is just a normal part of being a man? Would you be hurt if you found out your husband was viewing porn? Do you take it personally if your husband views porn? Do you think women make a much bigger deal about porn than they should?Is porn dangerous?And what should, or can, we women do about it? Alternating Least Squares Method for Collaborative Filtering. An Informal Definition¶Recommender systems is a family of methods that enable filtering through large observation and information space in order to provide recommendations in the information space that user does not have any observation, where the information space is all of the available items that user could choose or select and observation space is what user experienced or observed so far. Why it is necessary?¶We have more options and choices that what we used to have and this increase in options and choices will even increase in the near future. What to eat, which movie to watch, what book to read are the questions that we find ourselves to answer all the time. If you just consider the infromation space that has the answer of these questions let alone the answering the questions in the first place, you could find yourself in an immmense decision domain, which may cripple your decision making. Traditionally, this questions are answered with peer recommendations(word of mouth, forums, blog posts or reviews) or expert advice(columnist, librarian and recommendation of someone who has domain expertise). Traditional methods are good but limited in the observation spaces that recommenders have to begin with. Your peers could only read so many books, could only visit so many restaurans, could only watch so many movies. Second, they are biased towards their preference(naturally) where when you want to make a decision, you want to be biased towards yourself in order to maximize the decision outcome. Third, a person may not have access to these traditional methods. She may not have peers who share somehow same taste in music and movies, she may not have access reading expert advices. Due to these shortcomings, computer based recommender systems provide a much better alternative to the user. Not only they do not have these shortcomings of the traditional methods, but also they could mine the historical information of the user and demographics information which may result in a more accurate and finely- tuned recommendation for a problem that what traditional methods could offer. Industry Usage¶In industry, considering the usage, the most widely known recommender system could be attributed to Amazon. Purchase history, using browser history and user history, they provided recommendations to the user for a variety selection of goods and products. Currently, many companies that sell a selection of products and have access to user information, employ a recommender system that promotes futher purchases to the user. Richness of the Ecosystem¶Difference business and product needs and a variety of algorithms that could be used for recommender systems yielded a rich set of methods that could be used for recommendations. Connection to Information Retrieval¶This subsection of machine learning methods also have connections with information retrieval and actually the problem could be formulated as an information retrieval problem as well. Consider Google, the links(items) are brought to the first page to the users based on query information, location, user history and so on. Therefore, most of the algorithms invented in information retrieval could be adopted to recommendation systems with minimal changes. The reverse may not hold true in general, though. In this post, I will focus mainly on Collaborative Filtering in these set of algorithms.
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